Decide what you want

And then make it happen.

That's the power inside us all. But sometimes we just let the surrounding static get in the way.

That's it.

It's worked for me more times than I can remember and for whatever reason I ignored it. Only to finally listen again. Never ever negate your inner bell!
It always - I repeat always ~ rings true.

So why do we self-sabotage sometimes? What is the purpose when this life is so short?

Kinda boggles my mind. Which brings me to another can of worms that I'm thinking about right now, but it's not positive so I won't go there. Only positive stuff...think positive...stay positive!

And within this timespace -- it kinda reminds me of some posey written on my birthday... 14 years ago - 11.3.82. Known as,

26th birthday

There are only
blurred visions left
of something
that was once
so clear

Deeply I so fear
that with each new day
such clarity will again
just fade away

Everything is a gamble
some monotonous charade
results that are different
in the end
remain the same

Death is inevitable
and life is but a dream
leaving me here
so hauntingly intrigued

That's it. Sharing with you - any of you - just because I want to. Take what you want and leave the rest...but please do it with love.

A little bit gypsy and a little bit witch - that's just me. PEACE.

The conflicting continuam

I know that there is more to this life.

The continued conflicting thougths that race through my mind can truly drive me crazy. All should be love, beauty, peace, etc. etc. etc. But right now I feel forced by necessaity to continue an occupation that I dread for pure survival. That needs to change and I know this and I know it will. So the continued question is what is my passion and what is it that I want to do with what is left with my existance? Hmmm so much to ponder.

I want to be able to spend more time with my boys, write and make a difference to this world....this environment! They need a home!!!! and so do their children and so on and so on and so on...And this reminds me of something I wrote on Earth Day, April 20, 1990 - and it just so happens that April 20th is my dad's bday. Hmmmm...coinkydink!

She sits alone
watching her memories of yesterday
forseeing tomorrow
but feeling lonely today

She wonders why:

The skies are dark and it's windy
her sun is sleeping.

They say that are home is slowly fading-
corroded corruption

It's hard as hell being here homeless-
ponder being breathless.

Yes today she is still lonely
just now more afraid

'Cause there are kids in this house that have dreams-
they dream about yesterday
having fun today

There must be a way to guarantee their tomorrow.

She needs help to try.

Bitter

The scratch on my face
reminds me of the bitterness
in my heart.

It’s reason is clear
and hazy at the same time.
You are mad!
And you are their father.

Your plot to kill
and your intended revenge,
will push you further
and further to your end.

Painful, dark and sick-
are the demons of your soul.
The scratch on my face
reminds me of bitterness
that I need to let go.